no such luck
May. 16th, 2005 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mamajoanSiiiigh. Well, the whole taking Isaac to chorus rehearsal thing didn't work out so well. I don't know what I was thinking.
We got there a little early, and as soon as we got inside, he wanted to go back outside. Well, duh! It was sunny outside, and not really warm but not cold, but nice. Why wouldn't he want to be outside? I should have thrown in the towel right then. But nooooo, I had to hang around for a while and try to cajole him with books and toys and food, none of which he was having any of (well, he did eat some, but he didn't allow it to make him quiet ;) ). Finally one of the other chorus members had to come over and tell me what I already knew but couldn't accept; that he was too disruptive and we needed to leave. Sigh.
So I got all our stuff together, and of course as soon as I decided we were leaving, he decided he wanted to stay. ARRGGHH. And a couple of other really annoying chorus-related, non-Isaac-related things happened too, so I was totally pissed off by the time we got out the door.
So I took him to a nearby playground, and he was having a great time -- there were two tunnel-slides, and he would go down one, then the other, then the first, etc., over and over. He was lovin' it.
And then another kid came along, and we had an Incident.
The other kid was maybe a year older than Isaac, and Spanish-speaking; it wasn't clear how much English he understood. He was there with his grandpa and a woman who might have been mom or grandma (I'm guessing grandma). So, this boy was sitting at the top of the tunnel-slide, which was also a curvy slide, and he was sending his basketball down the tunnel to grandpa and then making grandpa throw/roll it back up to him.
So Isaac comes up the stairs ready to slide down the slide, and the other kid is there, so Isaac pauses not sure what to do. And the other kid started telling him (pretty clear to me even though I don't know Spanish) that he, Isaac, could not go down the slide because he, the other kid, was using it. So I (standing on the ground below) said something like, "that's okay Isaac, let him go and then you get your turn." So the kid rolled his ball down the slide to grandpa and started yelling at grandpa to send it back. It took a couple of tries before grandpa managed to get it to roll up the curvy slide and the kid caught it. And then he moved back a bit, and Isaac thought it was his turn, so he came forward, and the kid started yelling at him "NO! NO!" and making sort of little lunges toward Isaac, like he was trying to scare him away.
So I went dashing up the stairs to intervene, and meanwhile grandma and grandpa were telling the kid to calm down and let Isaac go down the slide. Very reluctantly, he moved aside, but as soon as Isaac sat down to slide, the other kid sat right behind him, and slid down the slide RIGHT behind him, sliding right onto Isaac at the bottom. (Remember, Isaac isn't even 2 yet! He doesn't do anything quickly, and that sure as heck includes getting out of the way at the bottom of the slide.)
So Isaac started crying hysterically, and I of course now was on top so I had to rush back *down* the stairs to comfort him, while the other kid's grandparents were scolding him and he was yelling "NO! NO!" at them, and actually took a swipe at his grandpa. They hustled him away and got him riding his bike. (Personally I think that should have been time to say "Okay, no more playground for you," but whatever, I'm not his parent.)
Now, I saw the whole thing and the kid really did not slam into Isaac very hard. I don't think Isaac was hurt, just scared. And he cried a lot harder and longer than he normally would, so I decided he was tired and hungry, so we left. And sure enough in the car he devoured all the strawberries and goldfish crackers that I had brought. BUT, the fact that he wasn't badly hurt is obviously no excuse. This other kid was just not behaving well. I wouldn't call him a bully exactly, because he had been fairly friendly before, but he definitely needs to learn about sharing and turn-taking. Heck, Isaac understands turn-taking better!
I was interested in my own reaction as well. Now, I am firmly against hitting children, and *very* firmly against hitting other people's children, which is just all kinds of wrong. I'd like to say that I would never even consider being violent to someone else's child (or my own either of course). But I was totally ready to smack that other kid up if he had laid a hand on Isaac (which he looked for a moment like he was going to do while he was yelling "NO" at Isaac). I guess I do have some mama-bear in me. (Of course, the language barrier plays a part here. If I had been confident that I could say, "it's okay, do your ball one more time and then let Isaac slide down" and have the other kid understand, I might not have felt so fierce.)
Anyway, the end result was that Isaac was fine, and once he calmed down he wanted to get right back to playing. But it was certainly instructive for me. I guess I haven't really spent that much time on playgrounds with Isaac, to really get a chance to observe the dynamics. (My mom and our babysitter Sally have done more of that, and have described the dynamics to me, but it's sure different to actually see it.)
Also, all of my disgust with chorus stuff really came to a head during all this (because I was in a pissy mood anyway) and has me strongly considering dropping out and not singing in this concert. But I'm going to table that till tomorrow when I'll hopefully be clearer-headed. Maybe. ;)
We got there a little early, and as soon as we got inside, he wanted to go back outside. Well, duh! It was sunny outside, and not really warm but not cold, but nice. Why wouldn't he want to be outside? I should have thrown in the towel right then. But nooooo, I had to hang around for a while and try to cajole him with books and toys and food, none of which he was having any of (well, he did eat some, but he didn't allow it to make him quiet ;) ). Finally one of the other chorus members had to come over and tell me what I already knew but couldn't accept; that he was too disruptive and we needed to leave. Sigh.
So I got all our stuff together, and of course as soon as I decided we were leaving, he decided he wanted to stay. ARRGGHH. And a couple of other really annoying chorus-related, non-Isaac-related things happened too, so I was totally pissed off by the time we got out the door.
So I took him to a nearby playground, and he was having a great time -- there were two tunnel-slides, and he would go down one, then the other, then the first, etc., over and over. He was lovin' it.
And then another kid came along, and we had an Incident.
The other kid was maybe a year older than Isaac, and Spanish-speaking; it wasn't clear how much English he understood. He was there with his grandpa and a woman who might have been mom or grandma (I'm guessing grandma). So, this boy was sitting at the top of the tunnel-slide, which was also a curvy slide, and he was sending his basketball down the tunnel to grandpa and then making grandpa throw/roll it back up to him.
So Isaac comes up the stairs ready to slide down the slide, and the other kid is there, so Isaac pauses not sure what to do. And the other kid started telling him (pretty clear to me even though I don't know Spanish) that he, Isaac, could not go down the slide because he, the other kid, was using it. So I (standing on the ground below) said something like, "that's okay Isaac, let him go and then you get your turn." So the kid rolled his ball down the slide to grandpa and started yelling at grandpa to send it back. It took a couple of tries before grandpa managed to get it to roll up the curvy slide and the kid caught it. And then he moved back a bit, and Isaac thought it was his turn, so he came forward, and the kid started yelling at him "NO! NO!" and making sort of little lunges toward Isaac, like he was trying to scare him away.
So I went dashing up the stairs to intervene, and meanwhile grandma and grandpa were telling the kid to calm down and let Isaac go down the slide. Very reluctantly, he moved aside, but as soon as Isaac sat down to slide, the other kid sat right behind him, and slid down the slide RIGHT behind him, sliding right onto Isaac at the bottom. (Remember, Isaac isn't even 2 yet! He doesn't do anything quickly, and that sure as heck includes getting out of the way at the bottom of the slide.)
So Isaac started crying hysterically, and I of course now was on top so I had to rush back *down* the stairs to comfort him, while the other kid's grandparents were scolding him and he was yelling "NO! NO!" at them, and actually took a swipe at his grandpa. They hustled him away and got him riding his bike. (Personally I think that should have been time to say "Okay, no more playground for you," but whatever, I'm not his parent.)
Now, I saw the whole thing and the kid really did not slam into Isaac very hard. I don't think Isaac was hurt, just scared. And he cried a lot harder and longer than he normally would, so I decided he was tired and hungry, so we left. And sure enough in the car he devoured all the strawberries and goldfish crackers that I had brought. BUT, the fact that he wasn't badly hurt is obviously no excuse. This other kid was just not behaving well. I wouldn't call him a bully exactly, because he had been fairly friendly before, but he definitely needs to learn about sharing and turn-taking. Heck, Isaac understands turn-taking better!
I was interested in my own reaction as well. Now, I am firmly against hitting children, and *very* firmly against hitting other people's children, which is just all kinds of wrong. I'd like to say that I would never even consider being violent to someone else's child (or my own either of course). But I was totally ready to smack that other kid up if he had laid a hand on Isaac (which he looked for a moment like he was going to do while he was yelling "NO" at Isaac). I guess I do have some mama-bear in me. (Of course, the language barrier plays a part here. If I had been confident that I could say, "it's okay, do your ball one more time and then let Isaac slide down" and have the other kid understand, I might not have felt so fierce.)
Anyway, the end result was that Isaac was fine, and once he calmed down he wanted to get right back to playing. But it was certainly instructive for me. I guess I haven't really spent that much time on playgrounds with Isaac, to really get a chance to observe the dynamics. (My mom and our babysitter Sally have done more of that, and have described the dynamics to me, but it's sure different to actually see it.)
Also, all of my disgust with chorus stuff really came to a head during all this (because I was in a pissy mood anyway) and has me strongly considering dropping out and not singing in this concert. But I'm going to table that till tomorrow when I'll hopefully be clearer-headed. Maybe. ;)
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-17 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-17 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-17 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-17 03:48 pm (UTC)Of course, maybe they spanked him later after going home, or told his parents about it and let them decide what to do ... who knows.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-17 03:50 pm (UTC)