name weirdness

[mamajoan]

You know what I think is weird, is when people (i.e., men) don't have a preference as to what you call them. To wit: I have a coworker named James and two coworkers named Stephen/Steven. James doesn't care whether you call him James or Jim, and the Steves don't care whether you call them Steve or Steven.

I just think that's really weird. I feel quite strongly about not wanting to be called Joanie. And I don't think I've ever met, for example, an Elizabeth who would answer to Liz, Beth, Betty, and Eliza*! Or a Jennifer who didn't mind Jennifer, Jen, Jenny. Although, now that I think about it, my boss's name is Debra and she doesn't seem to mind whether you call her Deb or Debra. I should ask her sometime. I bet she'll say "well, I prefer ___ but you can call me ___ if you want." Which is different from what the guys say; they won't even specify a preference.

Do you think this is a guy thing? A geek thing? A thing particular to these specific individuals? Or what?

If you have a common name with a common nickname associated with it (e.g. Jennifer, James, etc.), do you care what people call you?

* If you guessed that I used that example just so I could include a gratuitous Eliza Dushku reference in this post, you'd be right. I had a dream about her last night. Mmm.

Comments

[maggiesox.livejournal.com]

The only thing I care about is that folks don't call me Meggie. Meg, Meghan, Mags, Maggie...Don't give a damn. Meggie? I KEEL YOO.

[sydb42.livejournal.com]

I only answer to Angela. I will answer to Ang if it's my immediate family using it. Call me Angie and I will correct you once, then ignore you if you do it again. ;) To this day, I have a mental block when it comes to doing many geometry problems (which I discovered taking that 8th grade math test that's floating around on LJ), even though I'm generally good at math (just don't like doing it), and I blame it on the fact that my Geometry teacher INSISTED on calling me Angie all year. ;)

I also know a Debra that will answer to more than one name, but she will also answer to Debbie. She does, however, have a preference as to which she'd like to be called.

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

My first name is "Nansi" and I much prefer being called "Nansi". Period. I hate it when people shorten it to "Nance," which is what I get - "Nan" wouldn't be so bad, but "Nance" ugh. If you're going to pronounce that much of my name, go the whole 9 yards *G*.

[blueraccoon.livejournal.com]

my first name is 'rebecca' and I'll answer to either becc or becca - most people don't use other forms of it. but only two people are allowed to call me 'becky' and one of them's known me since I was nine. I used to go by that nickname, then I grew out of it. *shudders* now I can't stand it.

[lunaris1013.livejournal.com]

Now see, I'm a Rebecca who can't stand being called Becca. I'm Becky, end of discussion. There are maybe three people allowed to call me Bec, but that seems to be what strangers want to call me. The quickly find out that yes, looks really can kill. I have to love you a whole lot to let you call me Bec.

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

OK, and you have both proved my point by demonstrating that you do feel strongly about certain nicknames as applied to you. The fact that you feel the opposite way from each other about Bec/Becky is irrelevant for my current purposes (but still good to know for remaining-your-friend purposes). ;)

[lbmango.livejournal.com]

Well, Nif didn't mine Jen, Jennifer or Nif and different groups called her different names (evidently, no one but Obies call her Nif) But I think that Jenny was cause for immediate disembowelment...

Also, I think that you may be a wee bit extra sensitive on this one since you are particular to the point of not even USING your first name...

[discreet.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend Patrick preferes to be called Patrick instead of Pat, Patty, Rick,etc. He said Patrick is so much formal than any others.

[mogwar.livejournal.com]

I really have no preference for Mel or Melissa. Husband and birth family tend to call me Mel. Boyfriend and coworkers tend toward Melissa. Whichever. :)

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

Ah, but what about Missy? ;) Or Melly? Or Lissa?

[mogwar.livejournal.com]

Mostly I'd be confused and probably not reply. I was Missy as a kid, and in high school I went through a phase where I hated it and glared at anyone who had the misfortune who used it. But I got over it. If someone wanted to call me that now, I wouldn't be upset, but I probably wouldn't realize they were talking to me. Same for Lissa. I'd be more likely to respond to Melly because its fairly similar to Mel. And I've actually gotten pretty good at responding to Michelle or Melanie for all those people who can never actually remember my name. :)

[mofic.livejournal.com]

When I was a kid I hated my given name because it is:

* unusual
* androgynous
* not susceptible to nicknames

Now I really like it, and for exactly the same reasons! The thing with easily nickname-able names is you can be called things you don't like, like "Dick" if you prefer "Rick" or "Richard" or "Rich."

OTOH, I think the advantage of nickname-able is just what you're calling weird. I think it could be kind of fun to be Elizabeth to some people and Liza to others, for example.

My ex is Stacy. She's sometimes called Stace. She doesn't care one way or another. But spell her name "Stacey" and you die...

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I did know one Elizabeth who was called Liz by everyone, but in one college class there were two other Lizzes so she agreed to be called Beth. So now there are, what, fifteen or twenty people in the world who think of her as Beth. But knowing her as Liz, it's just sooooo hard to think of her as a Beth! It just doesn't fit somehow.

OTOH, Elizabeth is probably a special case since there are SO many nicknames available to it. I think most commonly nicknameable names only have one or two nicknames, and generally they're variations created by adding an "ee" sound to the end, e.g. Jen/Jenny, Jim/Jimmy.

I think the advantage of nickname-able is just what you're calling weird. I think it could be kind of fun to be Elizabeth to some people and Liza to others, for example.

Sure, but this is more like if I call my coworker James one day and Jim the next. That's what I think is weird about it. If he wants to be James to everyone except his wife and parents, e.g., that's more understandable to me than just truly not caring what any individual person calls him!

[mofic.livejournal.com]

Sure, but this is more like if I call my coworker James one day and Jim the next. That's what I think is weird about it. If he wants to be James to everyone except his wife and parents, e.g., that's more understandable to me than just truly not caring what any individual person calls him!

That's very much like my ex. Sometimes I call her Stacy, sometimes Stace. Same with most people she knows. It doesn't feel weird to me. But it wouldn't feel weird to call someone James sometimes and Jim other times, either.

What does seem weird to me is what sound to me like little kid nicknames on grown people. James and Jim both sound fine to me (even used interchangeably). Jimmy still seems weird as an adult name to me, even with four years of a POTUS who preferred to go by "Jimmy."

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

You're right about the little-kid nicknames on adults (and see skreeky's comment below for added perspective on this). I think it depends on the person. Some adults can be called Jimmy or Becky or whatever and pull it off. And not all ending-in-ee nicknames necessarily sound childish to me -- Kathy, for example. I know lots of adults named Kathy. OTOH, I know lots of adult Susans and none of them would use Suzie. So my point is, uh, it depends. ;)

[skreeky]

Well, does your James/Jim mind being called Jimmy or Jimbo? Does Steve/Steven mind being called Stevie or Steph? I think one reason women REALLY MIND is that we get the little kid diminutive nicknames. I answer to Christine or Chris (whatever spelling), but "Chrissy" will get you a solid punch in the head unless you are my mother.

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you have a point. I think I'll go ask him if I can call him Jimmy. ;)

[skreeky]

For complete fairness, give him a few millenia of having his entire gender viewed as incompetent children, and then see if he minds.

[xochiquetzl]

I hate the nickname associated with my RL name with the fiery hate of a thousand suns.

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

I know you do, Kevin, or should I say Kevvie? ;)

[white-and-nrdy.livejournal.com]

I also have a name (Justin) that doesn't really lend itself to nicknames. Though it REALLY irritates me when people accidentally call me Jason. But that's not so much a disliked derivation of my full name as just simply the wrong goddam name, you idiot. :)

In recent history one person started calling me simply J, and it's kind of stuck. I'll reply to either. Or Yulecat, when hanging out with pagan/online folks who know me as that. Or Zook, when hanging out with biker/online folks who know me as that. :)

[lbmango.livejournal.com]

The thing that I think is weird is when one group thinks of a person by one name so strongly that any other nickname is just wrong, and then they meet another group which uses a different form of the name. I had this happen with Nif. Her parents call her "Jen" and it took me 5 minutes (and a suggestion by Lisa the Tuba Player) to realize this and actually begin to communicate....

Also, I have a friend who's name is Elizabeth, she goes by Elizabeth, or Liz, or, (only to me) Ezilabeth. I've never tried calling her "Zil" but since only I use Ezilabeth, and I don't see her that often... She probably just thinks that I'm weird.

[azurelunatic]

I'm quite firm on the idea that my name is not Joan. That's what's on my birth certificate, but my name is Joanie. Co-workers can call me Joan. Friends generally wind up calling me Joanie, or else some other creative variation on all the other names I have (I picked up the nickname 'Ni when my ex-fiance was calling me Joan too often) but rarely ever Joan.

[azurelunatic]

This is because, when I was a kid, Joan was either for legal purposes (taxes), or for Big Trouble.

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

I'm Juliette, but people call me Jul, Juls, Julsy, J... I didn't come up with any of these and don't instruct people on their use.

[hawkeye7.livejournal.com]

It's just a guy thing. Society grants wimmin more individuality than men.

My mother hated people shortening her name so much that she gave me a first name which could not be shortened. However, my first name was seldom used for many years until I arrived at University.

The weird thing is that at work the boss insists that everyone's name has to be unique, which forced me to refer to my friend Michael as "Homer" while we were at work.

[big-al81.livejournal.com]

I pretty much answer to Al or Allison all the time... either is fine... but only about 4 people in the world (you being one of them) are allowed to call me Alli without getting evil stares and/or being ignored. Oh... and my mom calls me "Jones," but that's an entire story in and of itself.

[rainbow-goddess.livejournal.com]

My first name doesn't lend itself to nicknames, so the only nickname I ever got (aside from family nicknames that don't really have logical reasons behind them) as an adult is Purple Lady, which one of my co-workers gave me. So I gave myself the name rainbow and now most of my friends use it instead of my "real" name. (Actually, if you want to be technical about it, rainbow is my real name; it's not on my birth certificate, but my name means "rainbow" in another language.) Generally the only people I know who use my "real" name consistently are people I work with, except the one who calls me Purple Lady. :)

My sister doesn't mind if she is called Sue or Susan, but her name seems to change depending on geographic location. In the town we grew up in, she's known as Susan. In the city she now lives in, she's known as Sue. But she absolutely refuses to answer to "Susie."

My brother John refuses to answer to "Johnny" unless he is called that by someone who literally knew him when he was a baby.

My ASL teacher is named Elizabeth, and she insists upon "Elizabeth" and not "Liz" or "Beth." That's why her name-sign is "EB" -- to emphasize that she wants to use her full name.

[victoriacatlady.livejournal.com]

Generally the only people I know who use my "real" name consistently are people I work with, except the one who calls me Purple Lady. :)

And me. I practically always use your "real" name, except on IRC when I do call you rainbow.

[rainbow-goddess.livejournal.com]

You may not be aware of doing so, since you seldom need to call me by name, but you do refer to me as "rainbow," at least when you're talking about me in the third person -- at least, you do when talking to the cats about me. :)

[victoriacatlady.livejournal.com]

You may not be aware of doing so, since you seldom need to call me by name, but you do refer to me as "rainbow," at least when you're talking about me in the third person -- at least, you do when talking to the cats about me. :)

I do need to call you by name when I want to attract your attention. As far as talking to the cats goes, I'm at least as likely say, "Your other human is coming over soon," or some such. However, I expect you're right that I do sometimes call you rainbow -- hey, I know you like it.

[peterchayward.livejournal.com]

I'm Peter, and I hate "Pete." The reason I hate it is because I don't answer to it, and when someone is talking to me and calls me Pete, it just feels unnatural.

Having said that, there are about 10 people who can call me Pete and I don't mind. The reason? Because I don't notice it. I don't think of myself as a "Pete", but when these people are referring to me as "Pete", I don't notice.