I have a headache.

[mamajoan]

I feel like I've spent all day interviewing QA manager candidates. Really it's just two candidates today, but it feels like more....

I fiddled with the knob thingie on the radiator in Isaac's room and last night it started radiating again. So I'm not sure what's up with that, because I know it had radiated in the past, and I didn't change anything and then it stopped radiating. And before you ask, it's not possible that Isaac fiddled with the knob, because it's blocked off by furniture, and anyway the knob was "sticky" and hard to turn the first time I tried it.

Anyway, he woke up in the middle of the night again, so there goes my theory about him just being cold. I'm really getting frustrated with the nighttime wakings. It's not so much the wakings themselves as the fact that he won't go back down without nursing. I don't want him to get back into the habit of needing to nurse in the middle of the night, and I fear that if I give him boob every time, he *will* get into that habit. And he always wants to settle in for a nice leisurely nurse, too. Last night I only let him nurse for a few minutes and then I removed him and put him back in the crib. He was NOT happy. I patted him for a while and he cried, then I picked him up and soothed him (without nursing!!) and put him down again, but it still took several repetitions of "inch toward the door, pause, he cries, return to crib, soothe him, inch toward the door..." before he went to sleep for good. And that stuff is just way too exhausting.

And then I start to fear that maybe I've just gotten "spoiled" by the last, what has it been now, six weeks or so of sleeping through the night. Maybe he "needs" to wake up at night again now, and I should just accept it as a developmental need he has. Or is that too earthy-crunchy of an attitude? Listen, I don't feel any need to defend my earthy-crunchy cred, but honestly I'm a lot more inclined to say "if he was developmentally capable of sleeping through the night two weeks ago he's capable of it now" than "this is what he needs right now." And I don't think that's just the sleep deprivation talking. This way madness lies.... :(

Anyway, back to work.

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Sleep dep is no fun.

My advice, although you didn't explicitly ask for it...

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

I think he's old enough to start learning he can't always have what he wants. I would personally let him cry more than a second before I went in to comfort him. Otherwise you're just teaching him that you're at his beck and call. The Ferber method, although it's been oft-villified by APers, really worked with Ilana at 10.5 mos. But I'm not just suggesting he should "suck it up," so to speak. Does he have a comfort object, like a blanket or stuffed animal? Maybe you can encourage him to have one. And/or soft music, or some kind of pretty light-show toy? It's normal for most people (adults and kids), I think, to wake up during the night. The difference is, can they put themselves back to sleep?

Re: My advice, although you didn't explicitly ask for it...

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

I really agree with this - he'll keep right on fussing/crying as long as he knows Mom will come within a few. Of course, it's hell on earth to hear him upset and NOT go, but in the long run it's probably for the best. When are you planning on weaning him? I was just thinking, this might be a good time to start giving that a go, get two unfun things out of the way at the same time.

Re: My advice, although you didn't explicitly ask for it...

[mamajoan.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I agree with most of what you said, and just to be clear, I do wait more than a second before I go to comfort him. I usually lie in bed and listen for a minute or two to see whether it's going to become a serious cry. Sometimes he *does* settle back down on his own.

I've tried versions of the Ferber method before (last Nov/Dec when we were really having sleep issues) and it doesn't seem to work too well with Isaac. He's more likely to cry himself into a real frenzy than calm down eventually. But I'll certainly consider trying it again if this keeps up.

Oh, and he doesn't have a comfort object -- I really don't know how to introduce one at this point! He has no interest in snuggling with stuffed animals. I do play music in his room and when I go in there in the night when he cries, the first thing I do is start the CD up again. Or sometimes I let it play all night....

Re: My advice, although you didn't explicitly ask for it...

[aelf.livejournal.com]

FWIW, Zoe will sometimes sleep through the night, and sometimes she won't. I tend to assume when she's not sleeping through the night, it's a developmental sort of thing, or maybe she's just lonely. But when I'm *not* ready to rip my hair out, I try and be charitable about it. :) I've taken to not offering to nurse her unless she does some serious asking (as in, I don't walk in unbuttoning my top, I don't immediately cradle her to my breast, etc). I try and do the pat-pat and then if she wants to nurse, I pick her up and rest her on my shoulder ... basically anything to avoid nursing. I figure it we make it through all these other hoops and she STILL wants to nurse, then, well, I cave.

I've been trying to introduce a comfort object to her by including it in the nursing. You know, thinking she'd associate it with the nursing, and it'd smell like nursing, and all that. She basically just throws away any blanket or stuffed animal I try it with. She *will* nurse while clutching matchbox cars, but I don't know that they count as comfort objects... *sigh*

He will sleep through the night. He will.

Re: My advice, although you didn't explicitly ask for it...

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

He has no interest in snuggling with stuffed animals.

You never know what will hit the spot for each kid. Lots of kids like a special little soft blanket... Ilana, for a while, liked to go to sleep holding the book we'd just read together! There are ways to attach your kid to an object through psychological conditioning, but that always seemed a little weird to me.

[perclexed.livejournal.com]

the knob was "sticky" and hard to turn the first time I tried it.

*snickers* Sorry. I'm twelve. :D I wish I could help in some way, but I know next to nothing about children. Except for the fact that I think you're amazing and quite a superwoman for doing this on your own. You and your mom get major props for being such wonderful mothers!