extremely random ramblings

[mamajoan]

Thanks, or no thanks, to anotherjen for this extremely addictive little game. Augh!

I'm sad that I didn't get to participate in the fun fun cell-phone meme. Alas, as I posted a couple days ago, my cellphone had an unexpected, ahem, "adventure" in the laundry machine, and now it doesn't work. I haven't gotten around to figuring out what to do about it yet. snif.

And now a random musing on the nature of human beings:
Some people are what I call competitive conversationalists. Talking with them isn't about exchanging ideas and information, it's about Winning. If you make a witty or impressive point, you win! When you are talking to these people, you get the sense that they're not so much listening as waiting for you to finish so they can go. Thus a conversation with them sounds less like a conversation and more like a series of disjointed, moderately related anecdotes. It's tiring, speaking to these people, and ultimately frustrating. At base it's an immature way of relating, and an egotistical thing, because it's never about the actual topic being discussed so much as it's about each person's ability to impress (him/herself) by saying something clever.

You probably know people like that. We all do. I find that as I get older and more self-confident, I have less and less patience for this kind of thing; I want to have actual meaningful conversations where people listen to what each other is saying and respond in kind. I find myself checking out mentally when a competitive conversationalist starts up. I won't even engage into the "game." I'll let them ramble on and on, me interjecting the occasional bored "uh-huh," until they get tired of it. It's part of my whole overall resolution to stop engaging in dysfunctional or immature ways of relating to people.

The sad part is, one of the worst competitive-conversation offenders I know is a fully grown adult, in her 50s or early 60s. Immaturity knows no age limits, I guess.

Comments

[algernon-mouse.livejournal.com]

Thanks, or no thanks, to anotherjen for this extremely addictive little game. Augh!

Damn you! Damn you both!!

[frightened.livejournal.com]

My god, that game's addictive. Twenty seconds is the best I've managed so far...

[tiggrrl.livejournal.com]

The evening of the day you posted this, devafall and I ended up hanging out with a friend who I suddenly realized displays this characteristic. I had always known that his conversation bored me after a while, despite being full of "interesting" stories and information, but now I understand why it bores me. With him it doesn't feel quite as competetive as you've described, but all he talks about is his own research into various subjects and what cool things he's found, what cool people he's talked to, never anything that feels like it has substance and never is there any space for the other person(s) to get in their ideas. So thanks for helping me put my finger on what it was that I didn't like about hanging out with him.