another brief update

[mamajoan]

Click for a fairly random assortment of baby pix. We have tons more, but I just picked out a few for starters.

Things are going pretty well. The baby has gained a lot of weight and is eating like a truck driver, as one of my friends put it, whatever that means. ;) We aren't getting much sleep and occasionally it trips me up, like last night when I found myself envisioning all kinds of horrible things that could happen to him, and then I couldn't stop crying, and it was a bad scene. I ended up having to take some Ambien (sleeping pill) to make myself go to sleep. I honestly believe that we would be dead, literally dead, by now if not for my mom. She has been taking such care of us, even taking the overnight shift with the baby even though it's the one time (between about midnight and 3am) when he seems completely incapable of sleeping, and she's a complete zombie at work, but she's doing it so that I can get a little extra sleep and not be dead. Literally, dead. I mean it.

I just finished reading Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions, which is her journal of single motherhood for the first year of her son's life, and it left me with such mixed feelings. I feel jealous because she writes about it with such wit and profundity; guilty because it reminds me that I would love to be writing down a little bit each day about what Isaac is doing; smug because she has angst over being thrust into single motherhood whereas I chose it; jealous again because she had such a great support system; relieved because her kid has terrible colic and Isaac seems okay in that department (*knock wood*); and lots of other stuff. But it was a really good book to read, fulfilling in some way, and I didn't even mind all her talk about God because she's not preachy or obnoxious about it, and she does it with humor.

Anyway, I digress; my point being that we're doing okay despite the occasional rough patch and the not sleeping at night and the loopiness from sleep deprivation. I also have tons, tons of guilt and angst over the idea of putting him in daycare a couple months from now, but I'm trying to ostrich that for now. Sigh.

Comments

[flick.livejournal.com]

[hugs]

YOu'll be ok, sweetie. And yay for your mother!

[lexcorp-hope.livejournal.com]

Yay for your mom!! The early months are the hardest, they don't seem like they'll ever end and then suddenly the cloud lifts. The baby slept through the night two nights in a row! You'll get there soon, and don't worry too much about writing things down (or taking too many pictures, for that matter.) You may not have a perfect journal of days, but you'll remember and cherish holding Issac and counting his toes over and over again much more than you'd remember and cherish writing about counting his toes over and over. *hugs* Congrats to you, he is beautiful!

[ww1614.livejournal.com]

Hugs! E- me with your number, and I'll call. I'm moving an hour or so away from you, you know! Sorry I've been a slacker the past few weeks, but I've been getting a job! Moving back to civilization!

[popfantastic.livejournal.com]

*hugs* He's gorgeous, and you and your mom are chaaampions of the world, whether you feel like it or not right now.

[azurelunatic]

I'm no longer as conflicted as I was about putting the Little Fayoumis in daycare. Granted, he's older. But his mom & I were both unhappy about that, until we realized that he loved it because he got to play with other kids. Which was the reason that I refused, after the notable failure of Kindergarten, to homeschool.

[azurelunatic]

[the "notable failure of Kindergarten" was my mother's attempt to homeschool me, and the refusal on my part was for myself. My mother was all for it; I said "No!" and put my foot down.]

chickpea's aunt is a BIT nutty...

[sandykidd.livejournal.com]

we wish we were there, el-chlaal. we can hardly wait to see you and isaac and el-mom. my favorite part of the whole baby thing (when my sisters were new) was staying up all night cooing with them. when my first sib was born, i swear i moved into her room for a month just so i wouldn't miss anything. and for a while after she was born, my second sib absolutely would not sleep unless i was holding her.

good luck and sweet dreams, lady. -sk

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

My Mum once told me that she was so tired the whole first six months of my life that if she stopped moving - literally in any position - she fell asleep. My Dad worked the night shift for Bethlehem Steel, so she was pretty much on her own. I'm surprised I didn't drive her round the bend, between the fact that I was a nightowl with colic and loved prunes *G*.

You sound like a good first time mother, and you're doing great.

Aww.

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

He's so tiny. And he has Yoda's profile.

Sci-Fi Boy indeed. :-)

[velcroswench.livejournal.com]

Ah hon! And yet you take the time to post and tell us about it. :D

**huggles to ya all!**

I wish I lived closer, I'd swing by and help you out. ;) Watch the chickpea for a bit while both you and the Mom got some sleep time hehe.

My broodiness lives through you. ;D
wench

[mishaslair.livejournal.com]

Awwww! He's so cute and tiny and red! Well, maybe dark pink. You'll soon get the hang of the sleep thing, but I know how it feels. :-)