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mamajoanLast night's "Meet the Midwives" event was great. It was nice to see the faces of the new midwives (my group recently merged with another group) and hear all of them talk about their philosophies and practices and so forth. (I think this was also extra-valuable for my mom and Jessie since it was their first time meeting *any* of the midwives. I at least had already met five of the nine women in the newly expanded group.)
But the best part, for me, was the tour of the birthing center. I dunno, somehow that just really reassured me. I like to be able to picture what the place looks like where I'm doing something major, and seeing the layout helps me imagine what the process is going to be like too.
Plus, from what I've heard and read about hospital maternity ward, I get the impression that this one is *really* nice in comparison to many. For one thing, almost all the patient rooms (where you go after you have the baby, and stay there for the next day or two until you get released) are private, meaning you don't share with another woman. At most hospitals you have to pay extra for this privilege. For another thing, of the six labor rooms (where you do your actual laboring and delivering -- not the same as the patient room), two have Jacuzzi tubs in their bathrooms, three have regular tubs, and only one just has a shower. The labor rooms also have dimmer switches on the lights, CD players so you can bring your own music, rocking chairs, lazy-boys for laboring or for husband/partner to snooze on, and so forth. One of the other moms-to-be on the tour asked if she could bring incense, and the midwife replied that although flammable items aren't allowed, they can provide warmers for your aromatherapy oils if you want. !!!
Unlike many hospitals, this one assumes that a) you'll want your baby in the room with you the majority of the time, rather than in the nursery, and b) you'll be breastfeeding, so they shouldn't give your baby formula when s/he is in the nursery. (My mom was super-impressed! When she had me, the hospital staff thought she was completely insane for wanting her baby in the room with her and wanting to breastfeed exclusively.) And the midwives pretty much have the run of the place; there's an OB doctor around in case you need him/her, but if all goes well you'll never even have to see the doctor. It sounds like the hospital in general is super-supportive of the midwives, which is great. Anyway, overall the whole thing just made me feel really good about having chosen these midwives and this hospital. So, yay!
I also finally got to meet this woman my mom had been telling me about, a nurse in the maternity ward named Kathy. My mom met her through work and they instantly bonded (I can imagine the conversation quite easily: "You work at Mt. Auburn? My daughter's giving birth there!" "No way! I work in the maternity ward! Tell her to call me!") so when my mom mentioned that I was having trouble finding a birthing class, Kathy took on the mission of finding me one. So when we were there yesterday she said that she knew someone who's teaching an all-day birthing class on Sunday, June 15th. Since that's the day after my baby shower (also Father's Day which means nothing to me), it sounded perfect. So I'm supposed to call her today and find out how much it costs and whether I can still sign up for it.
Afterward, mom and I went for dinner and talked out some stuff. Two major things we had to discuss were a) what will happen immediately after I leave the hospital and b) what will happen once I finish my maternity leave and go back to work. These are things that of course I've been thinking about a lot, but I hadn't gotten up the nerve to broach the topics with mom, and I guess she's been feeling the same way. So it was really good to discuss them openly and with the understanding that we didn't have to make any final decisions right then and there.
On the first topic, it seems that mom has been assuming she will be with us for the first few days/weeks to help me with cooking, cleaning, and similar logistical stuff as well as baby stuff. I sure was glad to learn that she's assuming this because I was hoping she'd be willing! I guess her mom did it for her so it seems right. But the big question is whether I'll stay at her place with the baby for the first little while, or whether she'll come here and stay with us at my place. There are obvious and major pros and cons to both. And part of the problem, of course, is that it's hard to know how I'll feel at that point. Maybe I'll be nesting and want to go immediately back to my own space, or maybe I'll feel more comfortable putting us in mom's hands at her place where she can take charge. Who knows?
There's also the cats to consider. I suspect that her kitties will take to the idea of a baby much more easily than Bini. Nomar (mom's kitty) will probably avoid baby like the plague after the first time he hears him/her cry. ;) Mr. Softie (mom's other kitty) will probably be curious, but I trust him to be gentle and not harm baby. Bini (my kitty), on the other hand, is high-strung and tends to be quick with a claw, so I'm a little worried that he might react badly to baby and have to be watched carefully. :( I could be wrong, of course. I wish I knew someone with a little baby that I could "borrow" to see how Bini will react.
As for the second issue, mom seems to be waffling on how much babysitting time she wants to commit to. Since she doesn't work Mondays it seems natural that she could be baby's caretaker every Monday, but on the other hand, does she really want to give up her Mondays? She does a LOT of stuff on her Mondays, and some of it is stuff you couldn't do with a little baby in tow. Meanwhile, with my boss situation in flux, it's hard to work out a schedule or make any plans along those lines. Sigh. So, it's all complicated and stuff. Still, it was good to talk this stuff out with mom, and at least we're on the same wavelength. At some point I'll have to actually start making these decisions ... eek!
Wow, this post got really long. Sorry. Or not. :)
But the best part, for me, was the tour of the birthing center. I dunno, somehow that just really reassured me. I like to be able to picture what the place looks like where I'm doing something major, and seeing the layout helps me imagine what the process is going to be like too.
Plus, from what I've heard and read about hospital maternity ward, I get the impression that this one is *really* nice in comparison to many. For one thing, almost all the patient rooms (where you go after you have the baby, and stay there for the next day or two until you get released) are private, meaning you don't share with another woman. At most hospitals you have to pay extra for this privilege. For another thing, of the six labor rooms (where you do your actual laboring and delivering -- not the same as the patient room), two have Jacuzzi tubs in their bathrooms, three have regular tubs, and only one just has a shower. The labor rooms also have dimmer switches on the lights, CD players so you can bring your own music, rocking chairs, lazy-boys for laboring or for husband/partner to snooze on, and so forth. One of the other moms-to-be on the tour asked if she could bring incense, and the midwife replied that although flammable items aren't allowed, they can provide warmers for your aromatherapy oils if you want. !!!
Unlike many hospitals, this one assumes that a) you'll want your baby in the room with you the majority of the time, rather than in the nursery, and b) you'll be breastfeeding, so they shouldn't give your baby formula when s/he is in the nursery. (My mom was super-impressed! When she had me, the hospital staff thought she was completely insane for wanting her baby in the room with her and wanting to breastfeed exclusively.) And the midwives pretty much have the run of the place; there's an OB doctor around in case you need him/her, but if all goes well you'll never even have to see the doctor. It sounds like the hospital in general is super-supportive of the midwives, which is great. Anyway, overall the whole thing just made me feel really good about having chosen these midwives and this hospital. So, yay!
I also finally got to meet this woman my mom had been telling me about, a nurse in the maternity ward named Kathy. My mom met her through work and they instantly bonded (I can imagine the conversation quite easily: "You work at Mt. Auburn? My daughter's giving birth there!" "No way! I work in the maternity ward! Tell her to call me!") so when my mom mentioned that I was having trouble finding a birthing class, Kathy took on the mission of finding me one. So when we were there yesterday she said that she knew someone who's teaching an all-day birthing class on Sunday, June 15th. Since that's the day after my baby shower (also Father's Day which means nothing to me), it sounded perfect. So I'm supposed to call her today and find out how much it costs and whether I can still sign up for it.
Afterward, mom and I went for dinner and talked out some stuff. Two major things we had to discuss were a) what will happen immediately after I leave the hospital and b) what will happen once I finish my maternity leave and go back to work. These are things that of course I've been thinking about a lot, but I hadn't gotten up the nerve to broach the topics with mom, and I guess she's been feeling the same way. So it was really good to discuss them openly and with the understanding that we didn't have to make any final decisions right then and there.
On the first topic, it seems that mom has been assuming she will be with us for the first few days/weeks to help me with cooking, cleaning, and similar logistical stuff as well as baby stuff. I sure was glad to learn that she's assuming this because I was hoping she'd be willing! I guess her mom did it for her so it seems right. But the big question is whether I'll stay at her place with the baby for the first little while, or whether she'll come here and stay with us at my place. There are obvious and major pros and cons to both. And part of the problem, of course, is that it's hard to know how I'll feel at that point. Maybe I'll be nesting and want to go immediately back to my own space, or maybe I'll feel more comfortable putting us in mom's hands at her place where she can take charge. Who knows?
There's also the cats to consider. I suspect that her kitties will take to the idea of a baby much more easily than Bini. Nomar (mom's kitty) will probably avoid baby like the plague after the first time he hears him/her cry. ;) Mr. Softie (mom's other kitty) will probably be curious, but I trust him to be gentle and not harm baby. Bini (my kitty), on the other hand, is high-strung and tends to be quick with a claw, so I'm a little worried that he might react badly to baby and have to be watched carefully. :( I could be wrong, of course. I wish I knew someone with a little baby that I could "borrow" to see how Bini will react.
As for the second issue, mom seems to be waffling on how much babysitting time she wants to commit to. Since she doesn't work Mondays it seems natural that she could be baby's caretaker every Monday, but on the other hand, does she really want to give up her Mondays? She does a LOT of stuff on her Mondays, and some of it is stuff you couldn't do with a little baby in tow. Meanwhile, with my boss situation in flux, it's hard to work out a schedule or make any plans along those lines. Sigh. So, it's all complicated and stuff. Still, it was good to talk this stuff out with mom, and at least we're on the same wavelength. At some point I'll have to actually start making these decisions ... eek!
Wow, this post got really long. Sorry. Or not. :)
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Date: 2003-05-06 10:40 am (UTC)It sounds like you have everything under control totally, but always know if you have any questions, I have the answers. Or can find them. I'm scary that way. And our birthing/parenting philosophies seem very similar.