random car funnies
Mar. 10th, 2004 11:06 amEvery time I see a Mercury Mystique car, I think of a guy I used to work with, who was kind of a car geek, and who spoke quite derisively when his mom bought such a car. "Why would you buy a car whose name sounds so much like "Mistake"?" is his phrase that sticks in my mind. And, you know, he had a point. It's not quite as bad as Chevy trying to sell the Nova in Mexico, but still, what were the Mercury people thinking? I realize that in some marketing dweeb's mind the implication is "driving this car imparts an alluring mystique unto the consumer," but to me what it really says is "this car is confusing." I mean, the last thing I want to hear from my mechanic is "Gee, there's a real aura of mystique about this engine. I got no clue how to fix it." (Do mechanics say "Gee" in the 21st century?)
Also on the topic of cars, today en route to work I was behind a minivan that had on its rear, along with the make and model and all that, the word "Sport." I'm sorry, but no. The word "Sport" does not belong on a minivan. Earth to soccer mom: using a vehicle to drive the kids and their gear to and from practice does not make said vehicle a sports car. Wake up and smell the adulthood.
The minivan problem is pernicious, though. A couple weeks ago I was stuck in traffic and heard that annoying sound of rap music being played WAY too loudly. I always hate it when people try to forcibly share their musical tastes with me, but in this case I was kind of amused to note that it was coming from a minivan driven by a young (possibly teenaged) Hispanic guy whose expression seemed to say, in addition to the usual "you suck and I hate you" message that is de rigueur for that age, that he was deeply mortified to be driving his mom's minivan but could not help it because his regular car (possibly a MercuryMistakeMystique) was in the shop.
In other random car-related amusingness, recently I saw a car whose owner had carefully rearranged the alma mater sticker in the rear window to say "Unichusetts of Massaversity." Hee!
Speaking of car stickers, my mom acquired a bumper sticker that says "W - Let's Not Elect Him In 2004 Either." Personally, I prefer the corollary sticker, "Re-Elect Gore in 2004." Not that I actually want Gore elected this year; I just think it's funnier and more concise.
Recently a cute chick in the car behind me waved and gave me the thumbs-up, pointing at my bumper stickers. I can't be entirely sure whether she was expressing approval of "Without Dissent It's Not America," "Teach Peace," or "My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God," or some combination thereof; but later she passed me and I saw that her car bore several anti-war stickers, so I'm guessing it was probably the first and/or second. (How does one hit on someone driving another car, anyway? Is there a hand signal or combination of signal lights that means "Hey baby, wanna pull over?"?)
Also on the topic of cars, today en route to work I was behind a minivan that had on its rear, along with the make and model and all that, the word "Sport." I'm sorry, but no. The word "Sport" does not belong on a minivan. Earth to soccer mom: using a vehicle to drive the kids and their gear to and from practice does not make said vehicle a sports car. Wake up and smell the adulthood.
The minivan problem is pernicious, though. A couple weeks ago I was stuck in traffic and heard that annoying sound of rap music being played WAY too loudly. I always hate it when people try to forcibly share their musical tastes with me, but in this case I was kind of amused to note that it was coming from a minivan driven by a young (possibly teenaged) Hispanic guy whose expression seemed to say, in addition to the usual "you suck and I hate you" message that is de rigueur for that age, that he was deeply mortified to be driving his mom's minivan but could not help it because his regular car (possibly a Mercury
In other random car-related amusingness, recently I saw a car whose owner had carefully rearranged the alma mater sticker in the rear window to say "Unichusetts of Massaversity." Hee!
Speaking of car stickers, my mom acquired a bumper sticker that says "
Recently a cute chick in the car behind me waved and gave me the thumbs-up, pointing at my bumper stickers. I can't be entirely sure whether she was expressing approval of "Without Dissent It's Not America," "Teach Peace," or "My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God," or some combination thereof; but later she passed me and I saw that her car bore several anti-war stickers, so I'm guessing it was probably the first and/or second. (How does one hit on someone driving another car, anyway? Is there a hand signal or combination of signal lights that means "Hey baby, wanna pull over?"?)