update

Ever so slightly less walking-dead today. Ended up leaving work yesterday at 2, went home, napped, went to choir rehearsal. It was fairly brutal (and the composer was there, but no pressure, right?). I swore I wasn't going to sing, just listen and follow along, but of course I had to sing a little, and then I got home and couldn't talk, so I had soup and went to bed all early. So I got lots of sleep, right? But no. You know that thing where you can't sleep if you can't breathe. So I tossed and turned for a while and finally took some Sudafed (I hope ... it was dark ;) ) and then I went from stuffy and runny to very dry. And then I slept for a bit. But this morning I'm stuffy and runny again. Time for more little red pills.

You know how some people have cats that act all sympathetic when their people are sick, try to comfort them and take care of them and stuff? Not me. I have one of those cats who think it's All About Them. I'm home? I should be cuddling him, dammit! I'm in bed? I should be petting him! I'm coughing and sneezing and sniffling and honking? I should shut up so he can get some sleep, dammit!

My sinuses are killing me. And my nose is all sore and red from being wiped too much. I'm sure it's very attractive.

confession time

I have a confession to make. The new "Star Wars" movie opens today, and I don't give a shit.

Can you understand how hard it is for me to say that? I've only been a Star Wars geek since I was a little kid, after all. My brother and I used to recite the movies line-for-line on long car trips -- we had all three of the original trilogy memorized. We had the sheets, the action figures, the paper plates, the comic books, the novelization, the Making Of books and videos. We knew the name of that annoying little creature that sits with Jabba the Hutt and laughs at people. We knew what the Ewoks were really saying when they talked. We even had our own little in-jokes, Rocky-Horror-esque lines we always had to say at certain points during the movies. I wrote a freaking paper for high-school English about the representation of Freudian ideals in the "Star Wars" trilogy, for chrissake.

But after Episode I: Menacing The Fans, er I mean The Phantom Menace, came out, I just lost it all. I mean, I saw TPM ten or twelve times in the theater (that's twenty hours and $75 that I gave to George Lucas and will never get back), but that was mostly because of The Sith Academy, not because the movie was actually any good. I saw it twice on opening day and had a ticket for a third showing but elected not to go because already, even in the excited blush of "first new Star Wars in fifteen years" I could already tell how much it sucked.

And yeah, they say "Attack of the Clones" (*gag*! What a stupid title!) is better than TPM. And I'm not saying I won't see it. Of course I'll see it, this weekend if I feel better, or sometime next week maybe -- whenever I get around to it. But I'm sad to say, the thrill is gone. I can barely even call myself a Star Wars fan any more. Maybe if I restrict it to the original trilogy, okay, but that'll take too much explaining. It's sad that so much of my original excitement, my rabid enthusiasm, my love and respect for George, is gone. It's sad that when I found out we had made plans to go to the Red Sox game on opening night, instead of "Oh no! I'll have to find someone to give my baseball ticket to!" my reaction was "Yeah, so? Go Sox!"

But I guess that's life. Things fall apart, and you can't resurrect a childhood icon twenty years later and expect it to have the same impact. Maybe that's a lesson George should have learned. I dunno. I just know that I look at all the hype and excitement that's swirling around AOTC the past week or so, and I just find myself shrugging and saying, "Who gives a fuck?" And that's sad. Oh well. I'd like to care, but I just don't.

fic poetry

Got this from musesfool a random poetry generator: http://surreally.com/kd/poemgen.cgi?

Here's what it made from my story "Best Laid Plans":

Best Laid Plans Best Laid
Plans for
his voice was under a croak
And drained it for him, Yes, yes Clark? register surprise,
quickly concealed. Suddenly Lex stretched
out Clark was called for. you, have
done that, gaze Oh yes,
Clark. said Lex, shivered a
little And
took the bulge in come. on, the
wall.

"Clark was called for." LOL! Love it.

*runs off to try it on more URLs*