four things
Oct. 13th, 2002 01:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mamajoan1. My new computer RULES. I need to finish transferring my Eudora folders from my old computer though. Yay! New puter! *happy dance*
2. Watching baseball playoffs is *hard* when you like all the teams.
3. I just wasted an hour and a half of my life watching SMG on SNL (that's Sarah Michelle Gellar on Saturday Night Live for those of y'all who don't speak TLA). Man, that was the worst SNL episode they've done in a long time. It wasn't really SMG's fault (although in a couple of skits she was very obviously reading the cue-cards) but the entire thing was really just, like, not funny.
4. Finally a *meaningful* meme! From![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thete1, not surprisingly: what do my last five stories say about me...
The Field Where I Died, Smallville futurefic for the X-Files title challenge. Answer: That why/how Clark and Lex end up enemies isn't as important as the bitter angsty vibe it will create between them.
Best-Laid Plans, Smallville PWP. Answer: That I think too much about minor details of episodes (e.g. how does Lex feel about the fact that he's constantly getting thrown violently against his own furniture and walls?), and that it's far too easy for the IRC crew to egg me on into smut.
Pit Stop, Smallville/Angel crossover PWP. Answer: That I think Lex and Lindsey are hot. That what makes Lindsey hot is his wanting to be used. That I have a sex-as-mutually-consensual-power-play fetish.
Cold Comfort, BtVS short darkfic. Answer: That I'm into the dark ugly side of the Buffy/Spike relationship. That I thought the breakup and Spike's reaction should have gone a little differently. That I didn't like the way they sort of discarded the fact that Spike could hurt Buffy once it stopped being a useful plot device.
Melt Away, BtVS mood piece. Answer: That I'm into the dark ugly side of the Buffy/Spike relationship. That I have a sex-as-mutually-consensual-power-play fetish. That I think too much about minor details of episodes (e.g. Spike's comment about using candles in foreplay). That I have a pain-as-pleasure fetish.
This was a really interesting meme, because very often when I write fic, I worry that I'm exposing too much of my psyche, too many of my own very personal fetishes and hot-buttons (especially when the same themes recur throughout my work). Sometimes that worry even makes me want to rewrite the story, or to not share it with anyone. Usually I manage to reassure myself that no one's going to know, but still, it gives me pause.
2. Watching baseball playoffs is *hard* when you like all the teams.
3. I just wasted an hour and a half of my life watching SMG on SNL (that's Sarah Michelle Gellar on Saturday Night Live for those of y'all who don't speak TLA). Man, that was the worst SNL episode they've done in a long time. It wasn't really SMG's fault (although in a couple of skits she was very obviously reading the cue-cards) but the entire thing was really just, like, not funny.
4. Finally a *meaningful* meme! From
thete1, not surprisingly: what do my last five stories say about me...The Field Where I Died, Smallville futurefic for the X-Files title challenge. Answer: That why/how Clark and Lex end up enemies isn't as important as the bitter angsty vibe it will create between them.
Best-Laid Plans, Smallville PWP. Answer: That I think too much about minor details of episodes (e.g. how does Lex feel about the fact that he's constantly getting thrown violently against his own furniture and walls?), and that it's far too easy for the IRC crew to egg me on into smut.
Pit Stop, Smallville/Angel crossover PWP. Answer: That I think Lex and Lindsey are hot. That what makes Lindsey hot is his wanting to be used. That I have a sex-as-mutually-consensual-power-play fetish.
Cold Comfort, BtVS short darkfic. Answer: That I'm into the dark ugly side of the Buffy/Spike relationship. That I thought the breakup and Spike's reaction should have gone a little differently. That I didn't like the way they sort of discarded the fact that Spike could hurt Buffy once it stopped being a useful plot device.
Melt Away, BtVS mood piece. Answer: That I'm into the dark ugly side of the Buffy/Spike relationship. That I have a sex-as-mutually-consensual-power-play fetish. That I think too much about minor details of episodes (e.g. Spike's comment about using candles in foreplay). That I have a pain-as-pleasure fetish.
This was a really interesting meme, because very often when I write fic, I worry that I'm exposing too much of my psyche, too many of my own very personal fetishes and hot-buttons (especially when the same themes recur throughout my work). Sometimes that worry even makes me want to rewrite the story, or to not share it with anyone. Usually I manage to reassure myself that no one's going to know, but still, it gives me pause.
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no subject
Date: 2002-10-12 10:49 pm (UTC)This was a really interesting meme, because very often when I write fic, I worry that I'm exposing too much of my psyche, too many of my own very personal fetishes and hot-buttons (especially when the same themes recur throughout my work). Sometimes that worry even makes me want to rewrite the story, or to not share it with anyone. Usually I manage to reassure myself that no one's going to know, but still, it gives me pause.
Yeah, I need *constant* reassurance that my obsession with Beautiful Monsters In Love isn't getting really fucking old. Especially since half the time I don't even realize that I'm writing that theme *again* until the story's already done.
Forget my stuff in ME-verse fandom, I'll fold, spindle, and mutilate any hero I can get my grubby little paws on to get a second monster for the *other* monster to play with. Because, well, that's my *other* uberkink: Breaking Heroes.
Of my last five stories, only one of them hits on either of those themes, but I don't think it's a coincidence that I consider it the best of the lot.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-15 08:59 am (UTC)Sure, I have answers to all these questions, but they change on a daily or hourly basis. :) So it's fun to think about.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-15 01:33 pm (UTC)Are always different. *g*
For me, I like knowing what my Issues are because I've read far, far too many bad stories where it was clear that the writer *didn't* have a clue what his/her Issues were, and so the story itself should've been forwarded immediately to the author's therapist...
As opposed to a publisher/mailing list/archive/whatever.
There are other reasons, of course, but pride in my work is a major one. I know it's pretty much impossible to divorce my Issues from my fiction entirely, but at the very least I can... mask it?
Which is different than going out there with the specific intent of Not Writing My Issues/Kinks... because really, where's the fun in that?
no subject
Date: 2002-10-15 02:32 pm (UTC)I hope I didn't imply that I thought there were! :)
my default answer is almost always going to be 'self-awareness is always of the good,'
Yeah, I was going to say something to that effect too, although sometimes there's a fine line between self-awareness and mental masturbation. I certainly think there's value in acknowledging one's issues, especially around sex, but then I start wondering, if one never *does* anything with that knowledge, is it still valuable?
I know it's pretty much impossible to divorce my Issues from my fiction entirely, but at the very least I can... mask it?
But why should you? I mean. Unless one's Issues are actually damaging in some quantifiable way, in general these *are* all fantasies and so why should one bother to mask one's kinks? Okay, maybe it embarrasses me to think that people could read my stories and go "aha, she has a thing for dominating helpless men," but so what? Embarrassment is so rarely fatal.
Which is different than going out there with the specific intent of Not Writing My Issues/Kinks... because really, where's the fun in that?
I can certainly see doing it for the challenge, for the fun of trying something new, deliberately subverting your own natural tendencies; but when one gets the urge to write something that *does* follow one's kinks, why suppress it? It's like, sometimes you're in the mood for some weird ethnic food you've never tried before, and other times, you just want mac 'n' cheese. :)
no subject
Date: 2002-10-15 03:07 pm (UTC)I hope I didn't imply that I thought there were! :)
Nope. *g*
Yeah, I was going to say something to that effect too, although sometimes there's a fine line between self-awareness and mental masturbation. I certainly think there's value in acknowledging one's issues, especially around sex, but then I start wondering, if one never *does* anything with that knowledge, is it still valuable?
Good question. I guess I'd have to say... is it possible to truly know yourself (or know a great deal about yourself) and still not change your outlook in *any* way? I guess... maybe I'm just being a Pollyanna, but I think of all the Poor Widdle Fwagile Xander, Look At How He Listens To Goth Music And Self-Injures!Fic out there and I can't help but think the writers have *no* idea how much of their own teenaged angst they're spewing out all over the page.
But why should you? I mean. Unless one's Issues are actually damaging in some quantifiable way, in general these *are* all fantasies and so why should one bother to mask one's kinks? Okay, maybe it embarrasses me to think that people could read my stories and go "aha, she has a thing for dominating helpless men," but so what? Embarrassment is so rarely fatal.
True, but for me... I want my stories to be as good as they *can* be, which means that all the Issues extant should be the characters' own -- as opposed to *mine*.
I can certainly see doing it for the challenge, for the fun of trying something new, deliberately subverting your own natural tendencies; but when one gets the urge to write something that *does* follow one's kinks, why suppress it? It's like, sometimes you're in the mood for some weird ethnic food you've never tried before, and other times, you just want mac 'n' cheese. :)
Mmmm. Mac 'n' cheeeeese...