Finding joy in the mundane

[mamajoan]

I didn't get a chance to jot down the precise conversation when it happened a few days ago, but this is a pretty close approximation --

(Me and Ruthie being silly)
Me: You're the silliest kid.
Ruthie: You're the silliest mama.
Me: Well, I don't know about that. I bet some of your friends' mamas are pretty silly.
Ruthie: No, they're serious.
Me: Oh, they're all serious?
Ruthie: Yes. They're like, (gruff voice) "Come on, get your stuff, let's go."

Of course, Ruthie only ever sees her preschool friends' parents at dropoff and pickup time; and I did in fact go on to say that maybe those other moms are silly when they're at home with their kids, which hypothesis didn't go very far because Ruthie can't really picture her classmates at home, let alone their parents. ;)

But it did make me wonder how the other kids would describe *me*. Would I be "that mom who is always silly"? ;) Nah, I bet they'd pretty much all lump me in with the serious "come on let's go" crowd.

I always remember when Isaac was a baby and I noticed at some point that the parents of the older kids (the 3- and 4-year-olds) never seemed happy at pickup. It was like they walked in with their work faces still on, you know, all serious and stern. If their kids were like "MOMMY! DADDY!" running over to them all excited, they might smile, but still it was mostly "get your stuff let's go." If they took any joy in seeing their kids again at the end of a long day, they didn't show it. I remember thinking (and possibly even posting here) that I hoped never to become that jaded.

Of course, time goes by and your adorable little baby gets bigger, and the daily logistics of life can grind you down. So nowadays I probably do look fairly grim, workface, "get your stuff let's go" on the average day at pickup. But no matter how I might look, I'm certainly still feeling inside that same sense of pleasure at putting work aside for the evening, picking up my mom hat and putting it on. There's still nothing to compare to the way a little face lights up at the sight of you. Isaac is almost 8 and he wants to be too cool to get excited at seeing his mom, but the little I'm-not-smiling smile that twists his mouth as he goes to get his stuff tells the true story.

So now I can tell myself that all those gruff parents back then were feeling it inside, even if they didn't show it. Maybe they were too tired to show it, or maybe just self-conscious. Who knows? But they felt it. And Ruthie's friends' parents are all the silliest mamas and daddies, at home in the evenings where no one sees it except for their silliest kids.

Comments

[tehomet.livejournal.com]

Awww! :D

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

I think one of my best parenting skills is being silly. I know Ilana appreciates it. I was raised by a chronically depressed and anxious single mom, and I remember one time hearing her laugh and getting startled by it. I do think that you and I are probably on the sillier end of the frivolity scale. :-)

[as2.livejournal.com]

I really, really liked this post. Beautiful.

love this!

[lightningrose.livejournal.com]

I worry that I am gruff mama -- tired/short tempered mama? -- more than I'd like. Good for you for being able to switch those hats.